the lost girl in space

a game of “Love and Duty”

I just finished reading a book entitled “Love and Duty” by Judith Henry Wall. The story turned between three women. Effie was the sweet, charming, beautiful lady who was adored by everybody. Athletic Kate was not that so attractive unlike their cousin. Her father did not show so much affection towards her compared to her younger sister Stella. Stella was brilliant and the ultimate daddy’s girl.

The three of them grew up together and dreamed of their future if they would marry nice men and at the same time have careers. For Effie, the lure of big business; for Kate, it was fame in the world of professional golf; and for Stella, a career in academics.

Their life started in 1930s in an isolated town of Texas to the glamour of Dallas, from World War II and to Washington. They tried to fulfill their childhood dreams. But chances challenged them to give way to the decisions every woman must make: choices of marriage, motherhood, love, and ambition, pain, sacrifice, and hopes.

It made me think. Women were so awful before. They were just expected to be plain housewives, be a good partner to her husband, serve her family, raise children, and no more than that. Only few were given the chance to go into college because they believed that wifehood and motherhood do not require education. Or if ever they would, it was just because they want to search for a better future husband, maybe a lawyer or a businessman. How mean, right?

Another thing, at their teenage, ladies were asked by their mothers if they met or gone out for dates with nice gentlemen. They are also expected to get married at the age of at least 17 because fathers want to see their daughters’ walk down the aisle and exchange vows with their partners. Well, maybe it was just because they want to secure their futures but I think they just took away the chances for them to have their own lives.

During the war, many died, families grieved for the relatives who fought and became heroes. In that case, it was different. Fathers wanted their sons to go to war for the honor and pride, and regretted when bodies came back home lifeless.

Anyway, we’re getting far. It would take time if I would elaborate all the twists of the story. This is the only thing I could say “if I was born during the World War II or earlier than that, I’d be a prisoner of discontentment. I can’t imagine myself staying a four walled house feed babies, clean, do laundry, cook, and forget about my dreams.

Maybe it’s really hard to choose between love and duty. We need love because whether we admit it or not, we need companions to enjoy and grieve with. But we also need careers not just only to earn money but also to earn self fulfillment. We need other people to share everything we have but we also need ourselves to be who we really are. How could we love others completely if could not even love ourselves because a big part of us is missing?

It would better if you will love someone who will give you freedom to pursue your career.